02/02: And this time, it's only a month late!
But in my defense, I was making revisions to it off and on the whole time - including scrapping an entire part of it...
So ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu (or is it ado?), my year end blog post:
I went to Baltimore for New Year’s a couple of years back, and a friend of mine took me to a party. I got to share in one of her friend’s rituals – take everything you want to forget, write it down on a piece of paper, and burn the paper. Leave the bad stuff behind in the old year and start the new year with a clean slate, so to speak. I’ve done it each year since then, and when I thought about what to write on the paper this year, it hit me almost immediately. So what am I going to write this time? Hold on and I’ll come back to that.
It’s been an up and down year in a couple of different ways – I’ve made friends, I’ve lost friends, I’ve had good times, I’ve had bad times. In a more personal way, this feels like it’s been one of the most rewarding years I’ve had in a while. I think I learned a lot about who I am in this past year, more about what I’m capable of. I know that now, I’m handling certain situations in different ways than I would’ve even just a year ago. Due to some stuff that happened at work, I now see myself as being capable of more than I ever thought I could do. And through it all, my friends have been some of the most important people. Older friends like Chris, Amy, Jenny, Mike, and newer friends like Kim, Sanj, Eliot, Donna, Stacey, Jen V; they’ve all been there at various points to celebrate with me, to laugh with me, to listen to me rant, and I like to think that I’ve been there to do the same for them. Each one of my friends, even the ones not named above (and if you weren’t named, you just weren’t in my stream of consciousness list), has helped make me into who I am today.
My family is still very important to me, too. We added a new member this year, and everyone’s still healthy, happy, and the little ones are growing and making us proud. There’s a lot to be thankful for, you know? Everywhere I turn, good things are happening – you just have to try to keep it in perspective.
But even at that – with everything good that’s happening, there are things that I’m not happy about. It took me a while – a good bit of self reflection – and I realized that these are all things I have to change. But it’s not changing the world around me – I have to change ME. Some of them are things that may have been “wrong” for a while now, others are newer, but they’re still not right. They’re still things that I can correct myself and correct within myself. So this year, enough of the bullshit. Enough of the problems that I don’t work on. There’s no reason why I can’t get back down to 210 pounds. (Note – as of the time I’m posting this, 2/2/10, I’m at a hair over 205…) There’s no reason why I can’t do more traveling, no reason why I can’t become better with my money, no reason why I can’t learn to play the guitar this year. I’m not saying all these things will happen, but instead of looking for the reasons why they can’t happen… if they’re important enough, then find a way to make them happen. Work on the more important stuff first, obviously, but carry it through to as much of my life as possible. In some ways, this is going to be a partial reinvention of myself.
So what am I going to write on the paper?
My name.
So ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu (or is it ado?), my year end blog post:
I went to Baltimore for New Year’s a couple of years back, and a friend of mine took me to a party. I got to share in one of her friend’s rituals – take everything you want to forget, write it down on a piece of paper, and burn the paper. Leave the bad stuff behind in the old year and start the new year with a clean slate, so to speak. I’ve done it each year since then, and when I thought about what to write on the paper this year, it hit me almost immediately. So what am I going to write this time? Hold on and I’ll come back to that.
It’s been an up and down year in a couple of different ways – I’ve made friends, I’ve lost friends, I’ve had good times, I’ve had bad times. In a more personal way, this feels like it’s been one of the most rewarding years I’ve had in a while. I think I learned a lot about who I am in this past year, more about what I’m capable of. I know that now, I’m handling certain situations in different ways than I would’ve even just a year ago. Due to some stuff that happened at work, I now see myself as being capable of more than I ever thought I could do. And through it all, my friends have been some of the most important people. Older friends like Chris, Amy, Jenny, Mike, and newer friends like Kim, Sanj, Eliot, Donna, Stacey, Jen V; they’ve all been there at various points to celebrate with me, to laugh with me, to listen to me rant, and I like to think that I’ve been there to do the same for them. Each one of my friends, even the ones not named above (and if you weren’t named, you just weren’t in my stream of consciousness list), has helped make me into who I am today.
My family is still very important to me, too. We added a new member this year, and everyone’s still healthy, happy, and the little ones are growing and making us proud. There’s a lot to be thankful for, you know? Everywhere I turn, good things are happening – you just have to try to keep it in perspective.
But even at that – with everything good that’s happening, there are things that I’m not happy about. It took me a while – a good bit of self reflection – and I realized that these are all things I have to change. But it’s not changing the world around me – I have to change ME. Some of them are things that may have been “wrong” for a while now, others are newer, but they’re still not right. They’re still things that I can correct myself and correct within myself. So this year, enough of the bullshit. Enough of the problems that I don’t work on. There’s no reason why I can’t get back down to 210 pounds. (Note – as of the time I’m posting this, 2/2/10, I’m at a hair over 205…) There’s no reason why I can’t do more traveling, no reason why I can’t become better with my money, no reason why I can’t learn to play the guitar this year. I’m not saying all these things will happen, but instead of looking for the reasons why they can’t happen… if they’re important enough, then find a way to make them happen. Work on the more important stuff first, obviously, but carry it through to as much of my life as possible. In some ways, this is going to be a partial reinvention of myself.
So what am I going to write on the paper?
My name.
They call me the Busdriver wrote: