05/17: Time enough (to write) at last...
Believe it or not, going into this trip, I was nervous as anything. And I couldn’t even put my finger on why I was nervous – I just was. I think it might’ve been a bit of fear of the unknown, since I had never gone overseas before. Any other time I had to face a new experience, yeah, I had to do it on my own – but it was always stateside. If I got in over my head, I could call my siblings/parents/friends for help.
This time? Not so much. And little did I know how important that fact would end up being. You know, that whole exploding volcano trapping me there for most of another week thing and all. :-)
So I think I was first able to relax a little when I got past security and was at the gate. I couldn’t believe I was actually going – all the wheels had started turning, I was kind of at the point of no return. We start boarding and I’m on the plane – and once we took off, a little more relaxation. Or maybe it was just the shock of oh-holy-crap-you’re-actually-doing-this setting in, I’m not quite sure. But once I touched down in Brussels? I think then, and only then, did it become real. I was on vacation in Belgium. I had done it, I was there. So after finding my hotel, a 10 minute walk from the train station (and a 5 minute walk from the exit I SHOULD have taken at the train station), I decide to go out and start exploring. That was fun – trying a real, authentic Belgian waffle for the first time (and let me tell you, those things are like crack), drinking Belgian beers in Belgium, finding the bars and sights I had heard about – I lasted about… 4-5 hours or so. I was getting a little tired, so I decided to go back to the room and take a quick nap.
…6 hours later, I wake up. But at least I felt better, you know? So I go back out and go back to one of the bars I was at that afternoon – nice place, but the upstairs is REALLY nice. I’m enjoying myself, making friends with the bartender and a couple of other people I meet, and decide, finally, that I’m getting tired and am going to head back to the room and crash.
For another 11 hours.
Of my first 24ish hours in Belgium, I spent about two-thirds of them sleeping. Yay vacation! :-)
On a more serious level, though, this vacation was really what I needed. I’m still young and single, and I’m at the stage in my life where I can, fortunately, afford to do something like this. Every now and again, I just need to get away – like I think we all do. I decided to take this chance to follow one of my passions, and in doing so, I learned more about myself. I don’t know how to put parts of it into words, but what I do know is that I’m not the same person now that I was when I left. I’m much calmer now, and I feel a bit more… grown-up, if that makes sense. I’ve never been sure how to handle my emotions – for a lot of my life, they were kind of there and I was afraid to let them out. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I rule my emotions, they don’t rule me anymore. And in the grand scheme of things, the way I see it, there’s really not much worth getting overly worked up about. Perfect example – I was in the car with a friend of mine, and if memory serves, I was cut off by this person – I think she was on her cell phone while she was driving and not paying attention to the road or the other drivers. My friend saw me tense up for literally a second, then breathe out and let it go. I told her about how I’m not going to let myself get worked up over things, and I think she told me she was jealous – and that she’ll get worked up enough for the both of us. :-)
I can look at little things around my apartment that I brought home with me – the Mea Culpa glass (do yourself a favor and Google image search for “mea culpa glass” – this thing is BEAUTIFUL), the few euros I didn’t convert back to dollars, the tshirt, the Cantillon hoodie, the beers I brought home – each one of them represents something different to me. A different part of the trip. And they’re all things I wouldn’t trade for the world, if for no other reason than the memories that they all hold. I can look at the Cantillon glass and see Lauren, Matt, and Pat. I can look at the big bottles of beer I bought from the bar and see Natalija, the kids from Denmark, and the Chartreuse 1605 I’m going to have to find when I go back. Because, so help me, I AM going back.
I want to do more traveling – that much I know for sure. Where, however, is another story. But like I said before, I’m at the stage in my life where I can do it. All my bills are getting paid and I can still save another few cents here and there. I’m not taking care of a family, I’m not taking care of a house, it’s just me and whatever costs I choose to incur. So why not spend a little extra on myself here and there? Perfect example – there’s nothing wrong with my digital camera. It’s just old. (I mean, I’m a techie, and there are cell phones coming out with “better” digital cameras than mine.) I couldn’t find a good enough reason to justify my getting one, though, since I didn’t really need it. Then, I’m laptop shopping at Best Buy, and I see a camera that looks pretty nice for $120. I’m talking to the salesman and he tells me it’s a good camera – and if I want, they have a package deal on it. How much is the package – the camera, memory card, and case? $120. Yes, for some reason, I could either buy the camera or the camera, card, and case all for the same price. Did I need it? Like I said, no. But the value was there, and honestly, I wanted it. It’s not like I’m spoiling myself rotten – I’ve always just been very conservative with my purchases and I’m realizing I don’t quite have to be anymore. There’s nothing wrong with the occasional present.
Getting back to traveling – I’ve always enjoyed it, even if I don’t get to do too much of it. I’m going to South Carolina for the wedding of one of my best friends in July, and I’m driving down there. And I CAN’T WAIT to go. Both for the voyage and the destination. :-) But now I’m wondering – where else could I go? Where else do I want to go? I’m going back out to Denver this year, and I want to go back to Brussels/Europe, obviously. But where else? Maybe go somewhere to follow another one of my passions – go somewhere for the food. If it’s somewhere overseas, what would it be like if I didn’t speak ANY of the language? At least in Brussels, I could get by on 10 year old broken French (I’m looking at you, Mme. Reiner). But what if I know NOTHING of the language? Or what if I went to visit a friend of mine in a place where I didn’t speak the language? Same concept – I could always go to Belgrade and find out. ;-) In the states, I could always go somewhere for the beer (and depending on where I am, the food. Maybe go through NC and find out the differences between western NC and eastern NC barbecue first hand or something like that). I like the idea of going somewhere where I don’t speak the language, though – I might just have to do that. Go just to go. Go just to see. As long as they’re foreigner-friendly, why not go to Madrid? Or Lisbon? Or Naples? Or if I’m going to do it, why not go all out and go somewhere like Beijing? I love Chinese food – why not experience it first hand? The only two things I need to do it are the funds and the fortitude. And once I find the place, and book the place, the fortitude will come in time. But anyway, back to Brussels…
There’s something about that place that I just connected with. Maybe it’s the beer, maybe it’s the food, maybe it’s something else entirely. I’m not exactly sure, nor do I think it matters. All I know is that… you know what? It doesn’t matter what I know. It doesn’t really matter what I’ve learned, if you think about it. If you really want to know, reach out to me and ask, but otherwise… look at me. Learn what I’ve learned by seeing who I am. Look at who I was last month, last year, the last time you saw me – if that was 5 years ago or 15 years ago. And look at me now. I know I’m not the same person I was before this trip. That first day I woke up in my bed was kind of like the first day of the rest of my life. I’m leaving parts of me behind and doing my best to take all the good parts forward. If some of the bad parts come with me too, so be it – I’m human. But I’m not the same person anymore.
And I’m really looking forward to finding out who this person I am now is.
This time? Not so much. And little did I know how important that fact would end up being. You know, that whole exploding volcano trapping me there for most of another week thing and all. :-)
So I think I was first able to relax a little when I got past security and was at the gate. I couldn’t believe I was actually going – all the wheels had started turning, I was kind of at the point of no return. We start boarding and I’m on the plane – and once we took off, a little more relaxation. Or maybe it was just the shock of oh-holy-crap-you’re-actually-doing-this setting in, I’m not quite sure. But once I touched down in Brussels? I think then, and only then, did it become real. I was on vacation in Belgium. I had done it, I was there. So after finding my hotel, a 10 minute walk from the train station (and a 5 minute walk from the exit I SHOULD have taken at the train station), I decide to go out and start exploring. That was fun – trying a real, authentic Belgian waffle for the first time (and let me tell you, those things are like crack), drinking Belgian beers in Belgium, finding the bars and sights I had heard about – I lasted about… 4-5 hours or so. I was getting a little tired, so I decided to go back to the room and take a quick nap.
…6 hours later, I wake up. But at least I felt better, you know? So I go back out and go back to one of the bars I was at that afternoon – nice place, but the upstairs is REALLY nice. I’m enjoying myself, making friends with the bartender and a couple of other people I meet, and decide, finally, that I’m getting tired and am going to head back to the room and crash.
For another 11 hours.
Of my first 24ish hours in Belgium, I spent about two-thirds of them sleeping. Yay vacation! :-)
On a more serious level, though, this vacation was really what I needed. I’m still young and single, and I’m at the stage in my life where I can, fortunately, afford to do something like this. Every now and again, I just need to get away – like I think we all do. I decided to take this chance to follow one of my passions, and in doing so, I learned more about myself. I don’t know how to put parts of it into words, but what I do know is that I’m not the same person now that I was when I left. I’m much calmer now, and I feel a bit more… grown-up, if that makes sense. I’ve never been sure how to handle my emotions – for a lot of my life, they were kind of there and I was afraid to let them out. I’ve finally gotten to the point where I rule my emotions, they don’t rule me anymore. And in the grand scheme of things, the way I see it, there’s really not much worth getting overly worked up about. Perfect example – I was in the car with a friend of mine, and if memory serves, I was cut off by this person – I think she was on her cell phone while she was driving and not paying attention to the road or the other drivers. My friend saw me tense up for literally a second, then breathe out and let it go. I told her about how I’m not going to let myself get worked up over things, and I think she told me she was jealous – and that she’ll get worked up enough for the both of us. :-)
I can look at little things around my apartment that I brought home with me – the Mea Culpa glass (do yourself a favor and Google image search for “mea culpa glass” – this thing is BEAUTIFUL), the few euros I didn’t convert back to dollars, the tshirt, the Cantillon hoodie, the beers I brought home – each one of them represents something different to me. A different part of the trip. And they’re all things I wouldn’t trade for the world, if for no other reason than the memories that they all hold. I can look at the Cantillon glass and see Lauren, Matt, and Pat. I can look at the big bottles of beer I bought from the bar and see Natalija, the kids from Denmark, and the Chartreuse 1605 I’m going to have to find when I go back. Because, so help me, I AM going back.
I want to do more traveling – that much I know for sure. Where, however, is another story. But like I said before, I’m at the stage in my life where I can do it. All my bills are getting paid and I can still save another few cents here and there. I’m not taking care of a family, I’m not taking care of a house, it’s just me and whatever costs I choose to incur. So why not spend a little extra on myself here and there? Perfect example – there’s nothing wrong with my digital camera. It’s just old. (I mean, I’m a techie, and there are cell phones coming out with “better” digital cameras than mine.) I couldn’t find a good enough reason to justify my getting one, though, since I didn’t really need it. Then, I’m laptop shopping at Best Buy, and I see a camera that looks pretty nice for $120. I’m talking to the salesman and he tells me it’s a good camera – and if I want, they have a package deal on it. How much is the package – the camera, memory card, and case? $120. Yes, for some reason, I could either buy the camera or the camera, card, and case all for the same price. Did I need it? Like I said, no. But the value was there, and honestly, I wanted it. It’s not like I’m spoiling myself rotten – I’ve always just been very conservative with my purchases and I’m realizing I don’t quite have to be anymore. There’s nothing wrong with the occasional present.
Getting back to traveling – I’ve always enjoyed it, even if I don’t get to do too much of it. I’m going to South Carolina for the wedding of one of my best friends in July, and I’m driving down there. And I CAN’T WAIT to go. Both for the voyage and the destination. :-) But now I’m wondering – where else could I go? Where else do I want to go? I’m going back out to Denver this year, and I want to go back to Brussels/Europe, obviously. But where else? Maybe go somewhere to follow another one of my passions – go somewhere for the food. If it’s somewhere overseas, what would it be like if I didn’t speak ANY of the language? At least in Brussels, I could get by on 10 year old broken French (I’m looking at you, Mme. Reiner). But what if I know NOTHING of the language? Or what if I went to visit a friend of mine in a place where I didn’t speak the language? Same concept – I could always go to Belgrade and find out. ;-) In the states, I could always go somewhere for the beer (and depending on where I am, the food. Maybe go through NC and find out the differences between western NC and eastern NC barbecue first hand or something like that). I like the idea of going somewhere where I don’t speak the language, though – I might just have to do that. Go just to go. Go just to see. As long as they’re foreigner-friendly, why not go to Madrid? Or Lisbon? Or Naples? Or if I’m going to do it, why not go all out and go somewhere like Beijing? I love Chinese food – why not experience it first hand? The only two things I need to do it are the funds and the fortitude. And once I find the place, and book the place, the fortitude will come in time. But anyway, back to Brussels…
There’s something about that place that I just connected with. Maybe it’s the beer, maybe it’s the food, maybe it’s something else entirely. I’m not exactly sure, nor do I think it matters. All I know is that… you know what? It doesn’t matter what I know. It doesn’t really matter what I’ve learned, if you think about it. If you really want to know, reach out to me and ask, but otherwise… look at me. Learn what I’ve learned by seeing who I am. Look at who I was last month, last year, the last time you saw me – if that was 5 years ago or 15 years ago. And look at me now. I know I’m not the same person I was before this trip. That first day I woke up in my bed was kind of like the first day of the rest of my life. I’m leaving parts of me behind and doing my best to take all the good parts forward. If some of the bad parts come with me too, so be it – I’m human. But I’m not the same person anymore.
And I’m really looking forward to finding out who this person I am now is.
